Back At It Again

Back in school. Busier than ever. I like it. I love it. I hate it. I'm scared.
I like it because it gives me something to do everyday.
I love it because it makes me feel better about myself, my goals, and my purpose.
I hate it because I'm a sluggard at heart and it takes every ounce of my being to not do nothing.
I'm scared because it requires me to be a person either I've never been or I've lost.
All this work I have requires me to be prepared, organized, assertive and diligent.
I've rarely had to prepare to get ahead. I'm smart and knowledge always came easy.
Not anymore. I have to study. I have to prepare.
I've been so-so on the organization front.
I've never been assertive.
And diligent is a word others would use to describe me.
I wouldn't use it on myself.
I've seen diligence and it is not me...yet.
Honestly, academic things came easy to me. They just fell in my lap because I was top of my class.
In college, nearly everyone was top of their class so the playing field is leveled.
But I've never practiced. I am learning the rules now. As I go...better now than later when I am really and truly thrust into the real world.