Lady Limbo Bar

So in addition to having bouts of brilliance under the influence of nitrous oxide (laughing gas), I also seem to go into deep thought while on my daily run. This time as I rounded the corner, I began to think about relationships.
There's a surprise for you ~:sarcastic font:~
But seriously, hear me out...
This time I was thinking about standards and the patterns I've noticed among females my age. Of course this won't apply to every female; but if it's not you, then you probably know someone to which the following will be applicable.

Lady Limbo Bar: After a relationship, this lady will LOWER her standards instead of RAISE them in order to quickly secure another male.

Generally, this action comes from a fear of being alone. When a female is not in a relationship, everyone is always telling her how she needs a man.
"Girl, you need a boo"

"This next dude will get your mind off your ex dude"

"Oh...my bad...you DON'T have a boyfriend"
etc. etc...I'm sure you've heard many more

Basically, this world is not set up to make a female feel comfortable while she is single. Sadly, many people don't know how to make themselves comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. So, in an effort to feel like all is right with the world again Lady Limbo Bar will fall out of love only too fall in love again. It's almost instantaneous.
This last relationship was all wrong. There was no trust. She cheated. He cheated. He lied. Verbal and mental abuse. She lied. Control issues. Just everything was ALL WRONG!!!
But Lady Limbo Bar, won't take that relationship as a learning experience. She won't demand that the next man be honest and nurturing because he would take too long to find.

No offense men, but the number of men at our age willing to be in a monogamous relationship is very low. Those men are on the endangered species list or something. And it's understandable, we are young.

Waiting for a man to be ready for everything a real relationship entails might take some time. Lady Limbo Bar feels like time is running out. She rushes into everything and things generally end as quickly. Instead, she should take some time out to really analyze her past relationships. She should try to understand the parts her and her partner played in the demise of the relationship.

If you don't know your past, you are doomed to repeat it

And Lady Limbo Bar repeats it over and over again like Nelly and Tim McGraw because she refuses to take the time out to dissect it.
Don't be a Lady Limbo Bar

What Would You Do?

So I'm sitting here watching Primetime: What Would You Do? trying to figure out what I would do in these various situations:
1. Female waitress being accosted by her male manager
2. Coach abusing child athlete
3. Person can't afford prescription

Ok, so basically the premise of the show is what would you do to help these people in various situations. I can say that for every situation, I would want to help. I would genuinely want to help, but sometimes I lack that courage to stand up to strangers. You can ask my friends, I'm more likely to stand up to someone I sort of know including teachers when they are being really disrespectful. However, it is something about standing up to complete strangers, especially male figures, that shakes me. Some people would be afraid to admit it, but I get intimidated sometimes. That's just the first issue. The second issue is that I have an active imagination, so I seem to automatically go to worst case scenario. This is America and times are different (as if I ever knew any other). People are crazy!!!! Let me try to speak up for a waitress being sexually harassed at her job, the next thing I know someone is mad at me for getting her fired. Basically, it seems as if the world has taken a que from The Incredibles and have asked all the good samirtans to stay hidden.
What would you do?
Would you speak up?
Would you help?
Right now, I know I probably wouldn't be able to speak up, but someday I want the strength to be able to speak up for those who can't speak for themselves. That's my prayer for tonight.


Alexany <3

Back to Basics

Everything you do gets on my nerves. I don't hate you, but you make it difficult to love you. I don't require much. But I need the basic TLC...
That was my latest tweet on Twitter. And it is too real. After I have already admitted the absence of my father had a significant bearing on how I handle relationships, the problem still persists.
I'm starved for male attention.
And if you think, as a woman, you don't need it...think again.
Male attention doesn't necessarily mean I need every dude on my friend list to comment on my facebook pictures. I don't need random dudes calling me at all hours of the life. It might be nice, but that is not what I am after.
I just want all this attention from ONE male and the more I seek it, the less it is offered.
I am his only daughter.
How difficult can it be to spread the love?

I try hard not to let this one man affect how I view all men, but I'm telling you it's difficult. I can honestly tell you that there is not ONE man alive that I completely trust.
The men in my life have never shown up, abused me, assaulted me, lied to me, and abandoned me.
Now, I'm not actively looking for someone to break the cycle. Although I know one will break the mold one day.
I just don't want to care about it so much.
I don't want to think about it.
I don't want it to affect my happiness any longer.
And so I pray about it every day and every night.
If you're reading this, all I ask is that you pray about it too.

Thanks

Alexany <3

Let It Burn

That's what Usher says to do. He thinks I should let it burn.
And that isn't necessarily new to me.

Don't think I'm crazy, but....

I have burned pictures of exes before...lol. It wasn't on some voodoo ish. I'm really a semi-pyromaniac so I've burned a lot of stuff.

Not really helping my case...oh well

But that was a different ex with a different situation.
I don't know what to do with this one.

I sit on my bed, look around the room, and think about how I need to get rid of soooo much stuff.
Really it's too cramped. I have notes from middle school still around and I just finished my first year of college so you can imagine how much I need to dispose of.
So every now and then, I begin to remove items from a box and throw them into the trash.

BUT!!!!

Without fail, I run into pictures and poems.
I always contemplate about what to do with these nostalgic memories.
Mostly, I don't know what to do with the handwritten poetry.
I absolutely LOVE poetry.
But every time I read these poems, I am reminded of the triviality of human emotion and then I get pissed.
I guess I answered my own question. Why would you ever want to keep something around that pisses you off every time you run across it?
Usually, I just put the poems in a box, stuff the box in some obscure part of my room, forget about the box, find the box during a cleaning spree, revisit some unwanted memories and emotions, then I start back at 1 (Brian McKnight voice).
So this time, I'm going to tap into that maturity I developed while away at college and be smart about the situation.

I want God to have all of my heart, so that means letting go of the things that held it before.

Oohhh...I'm good...lol

Alexany <3

P.S.-"Get rid of" does not mean burn. However, that does sound tempting considering I haven't lit anything on fire in a long time....

Name Change

One day I will be satisfied with my blog.
Today is not that day.
Yesterday was also not that day.
Tomorrow isn't looking up either.

However, I am getting there. I believe I've changed my URL and blog name like ten times already. Oh well, as the author of said blog, I have the authority to make such executive choices. (AUTHORity...see that there...lol)
I really doubt anyone even cares considering this thing is more for me than anyone else. And if they do care, I always update the website on my facebook page.

Speaking of annoying, life-consuming, ever present social networking sites...I'm thinking about getting a twitter.
It's what all the youngins are playing on these days and I need to stay socially aware right? Ugh...I don't know. It could just be one more thing that allows me to be even more slightly psychotic than I already am. If I don't like it, I can always delete it right? (R.I.P. Myspace)

Welcome Back, Welcome Back!!

You know I LOVE that.
That being home. It feels good to be back in my city. A city with breathing room. DC is just so cramped, but it does make it easy when it comes to transportation. Everything is right where you need it and within walking distance.

My first year of college was a rocky one. I can honestly say that I hated college for about the first couple of months. I had plans. Plans fell through. I made new plans. Those plans failed. Overall, I just felt like I had no control. Which is not far from the truth. I just learned (I am still learning) to be ok with letting God have that control.

College is the place where change and grow. For better or for worse is up to the individual. I get upset when people say, "Oh, [insert name here] went to college and got all brand new"
Yes, [insert name here] did because that is what college is for. It is a chance to be a new and better person because you are not confined to the box outlined for you at home. All of a sudden, you realize that you have the ability to be whoever you want because these people don't know you. Sometimes that best thing for a person is a blank slate, Tabula Rasa.

Now that the first year is over, I'm excited for the next year. Pre-pharmacy club, iPals, work...I have a lot planned, but I know, from experience, that God can and often does alter these plans.